3/4 cup loosely packed coffee grounds*
3.5 to 4 cups cold water
large French press
The night before you want said coffee, put the grounds in the French press. Add the water. Give it a stir with a NON-METAL** stirring tool, put the top on (but don’t plunge it), and wait at least 8 hours (I waited around 10 because that’s when I woke up). Next morning, prep a tall glass with ice. Hit the plunger, and pour out around 1/3 to 1/2 of the coffee. Mix in whatever you like. (If you’re going to do sugar, though, use confectioner’s sugar or make simple syrup, since plain sugar doesn’t mix in cold water. Also, add lots of milk if you’re adding milk, and if not, I’d add some cold water to thin it out.) Drink this slowly and wait a few minutes before you have another one. I know it’s delicious and refreshing, but Natalie Dee describes this recipe as “pants-sh*ttingly caffeinated,” so drink at you and your heart’s own risk. Oh, wait, is it just me who has a sad, tiny bird heart that flutters near the edge of death whenever she has too much coffee? Womp womp.
*I used to be kind of a coffee snob when I drank coffee regularly. I’d buy a new 1/2 lb every week, grind my two tablespoons fresh daily, I only used one of Oren’s dark roasts, and I’d sneer at diner coffee. I don’t drink much coffee these days, so now I just use whatever’s in the house. Now, it’s some super-strong stuff my sister brought back from Malawi, but when I’m out, it might well be Folger’s.
**Otherwise, you’ll break your French press with excessive stirring, and IKEA’s kind of far away to go specifically just to buy another one.