1 chicken breast
1 tbsp soy sauce
pinch of Cayenne
4-5 cloves garlic
1/4 c olive oil (regular experienced olive oil, NOT extra virgin*)
another pinch of Cayenne
a few ounces of thin spaghetti
Boil up your pasta. While that’s going on, peel the garlic, and chop off the root end. Carefully slice the garlic into thin rounds, making sure to keep them about even in thickness. Add the olive oil and garlic to a saucepan and turn the heat to medium. You want the garlic to toast in the oil, so don’t even think about turning away from the pan, not even for a minute. Garlic goes from almost toasted to blackened in, like, 3 seconds. Once the garlic is toasty and golden brown, turn off the heat and add a 1/4 cup or so of the pasta water to the sauce to slow the cooking. I know, the water’s boiling, so how does that slow it down? I dunno. I guess oil holds more heat than water, since its boiling point is higher. Either way, it works. Add the first pinch of Cayenne to the sauce. Dice up the chicken into bite-sized pieces. Stir fry with the soy sauce and second pinch of Cayenne. Drain the pasta, and mix everything together in a pot. You should follow this meal up by going on a date, because your breath is going to be fantastic, and you’re not going to sweat all over everything from all that Cayenne.**
*Extra virgin olive oil, contrary to its name, has impurities in it that make it taste fabulous on salads but make it burn at temperatures over 350 degrees. Ergo, olive oil that’s been worked over a few times can take more hot action. If you know what I mean.
**I lied. You’ll be a gross, sweaty, stinky mess, but you’ll chase away vampires and colds.