1 deep-dish pie shell
1 lb ground beef or fake beef crumbles
3-4 average-sized potatoes
1 c milk
3 tbsp butter
1/2 c shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Preheat the oven to 350. Poke some holes in the shell (to keep it from puffing up and to take out some of your anger at the cold weather. Don’t poke too hard, though; you don’t want to pierce through the aluminum tin.) and cook the empty pie shell for 10-15 minutes or until it’s not so dough-y. Peel and dice the potatoes, and boil them until a fork pierces a piece easily (around 30-45 minutes). Drain the potatoes and return to pot. Add milk*, butter, salt, and pepper and mash. (Note: If it’s, like, 11:30, and you don’t want to go through the trouble of making real mashed potatoes, I won’t tell if you use boxed flakes.) While the potatoes are cooking, cook the beef thoroughly (or warm up the fake beef), drain**, and season. Place the beef in the pie shell, then spread the mashed potatoes over the top. Top with shredded cheddar and bake for 20 minutes or so, until the cheese is melty and starting to brown. Don’t serve with vegetables, because dude, who needs vegetables when you’re eating meat and carbs inside of carbs?
*1 cup is a wild guess in the dark. I always eyeball it, so just add little splashes of milk until you get frosting consistency. Don’t cut down on the butter, Only fools have potatoes without tons of fat.
**DUDE, whatever you do, DO NOT drain animal fat directly into your sink. It will clog so fast, and that will be gross. I either pour mine in a disposable paper cup, or I line a jar with aluminum foil and pour it on. When it’s solid, you can just throw it away.